I just bought this for experimentations yesterday.

Manic

I haven't been able to write about random things going inside my head mostly because I was too busy, or maybe I just lack the motivation to even bother articulately describing my day. I know, I shouldn't be feeling this right now especially when we just had an advance birthday celebration for my mom, but I couldn't help it. It's not me, it's something inside which makes me feel this scornfully, ungrateful, ugly woman. I hate it but at the same time I try to understand everything so that I could control my emotions and lock them inside me until everything subsides. But then afterwards, I would feel empty. So empty that all I could think of is a gun in my mouth imagining if I had the courage to pull the trigger. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not a suicidal type. Most of the time, I don't really understand why that particular picture. I guess that was just something I already got used to imagining every time I feel shitty. But then after, I always seriously assess myself and conclude I'd never ever be able to do something like that and that's a great relief.

I don't know when it started but I was able to notice this weird thing about myself when I was in high school. It must have been something I experienced from childhood, although I can't remember most of it. I know I was a little different when I'm with a group of people. I'm not so sure but I know I am friendly, quite friendly I believe so. I've had friends and playmates, but I remember my playmates were somehow similar to me. Timid, odd, with strange habits. Although along the friendliness for the most part, there's this awkwardness I'm feeling all the time. Especially to people who I know from the start, doesn't like me at all. I don't know why they wouldn't, but I have this vague feeling and most of the time I'm always right about someone. I hate it that I unconsciously pretend around people so that they could like me. I just want to remove that, but I would always end up someone who is unlikeable so I try not to bother and hide myself away to avoid any more confusion. It hurts me sometimes, but I have always been living like this so I already got used to everything now. I just needed to get it out sometimes...

Up Dharma Down LIVE!

Last night we were given the chance to see one of the best local bands in the Philippines, Up Dharma Down. It was quite convenient for us because the bar and restaurant where they performed last night were actually walking distance from my home. I was able to take some pictures of them. It was quite an experience! :)

If You're Reading This, I Need Your Help!

IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I badly need your HELP!!!

I recently made an Instructables out of my little free time and joined the Design Competition. I don't usually ask for favors. If I can do it, I'll do it myself. But this time, I need major help. I'm only asking for a portion of your time. It may be onerous on your part as you would need to sign up in order to click on the vote button (located at the upper-right corner of the window), but you may log-in with your facebook account to avoid the information page. Your click might be the turning point of my life. If I gain enough votes, I might win a full spectrum new hobby laser cutter, Macbook Pro, and above all, the new Cannon EOS-M Camera which would help me pursue my dreams. Thank you very much and may the force be with us all!

VOTE FOR MY ENTRY HERE!

ANOTHER ENTRY THAT BADLY NEEDS YOUR VOTE:

Not Pr0n

I started playing and blogging about solutions to notpron since 2008 on a different social networking site, Friendster... not because I wanted to spoil, but to help those desperately enough to understand how to solve the puzzle and proceed to the next level. Unfortunately, due to studies, work and other significant matters in my life, along side when Friendster decided to remove their blogging feature, I wasn't able to follow up Level 16. After some time, I decided to migrate what is left on my blog in Friendter to this site and then continued on, whenever I have free time, until Level 24.

The purpose of this entry is to apologize to people who are continuously looking for solutions to notpron via my blog. I will try my best to continue helping you and giving you hints, hopefully, I have the time to continue and finish this game myself.

Last notpron entry I did was August of last year...

How to Make Musical Floppy Drives

I don't know why I just posted it now, but I made this way back in the month of May.



This got featured on Instructables! :D

Me and the Night Sky

Made a blog dedicated to astrophotography, something I want to master and perfect. On the other hand, below is a day moon that I happen to come across with almost a month ago.

Languid, lethargic, inert...

Been working restlessly for almost 2 weeks now. I just want to rest without particularly thinking of something, most especially deadlines and its consequences. The time when I think of reminiscing my childhood and how good it is to be problem-free.

New Tattoo

I haven't been able to update this blog for quite some time now. Been busy at work. Anyway, I managed to attend the biggest tattoo convention in the country and was able to get a new tattoo for myself. I always wanted a camera tattoo, and finally decided to have one, impulsively. :)

CpE Glam Night